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Antonio Jackson
Staff Writer
Rejection can be a hard pill to swallow for some, but can be the breaking point for others.
Darius Miles, a University of Alabama forward, was charged with capital murder for providing a gun for the shooting of Jamea Jonae Harris, after she rejected his flirtatious advances.
When police responded to the shooting, Harris was already mortally shot. She and her boyfriend were returning from Tuscaloosa after visiting Harris’s cousin who was also a student at the university. The three went out to eat and when leaving, a man approached Harris and proceeded to flirt with her.
According to CNN, DeCarla Cotton, Harris’s mother stated, “He was advancing on her, and she declined his attention. He refused to go away. While they were attempting to leave, one gentleman walked up to the car and started shooting.”
Rejection trauma is a real thing and if left unacknowledged, it could lead to serious consequences. Not landing the job you worked for acquiring or being turned down by a potential romantic or platonic partner can be discouraging, but you still have a choice. You still have a chance to recognize that rejection is a part of life.
Some students at Jackson State University shared their own experiences with rejection and how they were able to cope with it.
Amir Thomas, a freshman business technology major from Harlem, N.Y., stated, “I have been rejected many of times. My advice would be take the rejection, move on, learn from your mistakes and try to do better next time. Just be yourself, stay calm, and you’ll come around.”
Catrick Duo, a sophomore health administration major from Chicago, Ill., believes you shouldn’t take rejection so seriously.
“I’ve been rejected before, it is pretty common. My advice would be to just take it as like a bump in the road. Once you hit, you just have to take it and keep it pushing.”
Antonio Horton, a professor of psychology and a counselor at the Latasha Norman Center of JSU gave his expert opinion on what could have been the psychology of Miles during the scenario.
“Rejection opens a doorway that can potentially lead us to false beliefs. Each of us responds to rejection quite differently, and when compounding layers of ‘loss of control’ preexist, an individual may begin to spiral in a destructive way,” said Horton.
He added, “Recently, research has been conducted regarding a new phenomena known as RS (Rejection Sensitivity). This refers to individuals who feel extreme despondency, distress, or even failure in the face of perceived rejection. The individual may display aggressive tendencies or rageful behavior toward those who have been perceived to have slighted them.”
Horton also provided ways to handle rejection.
- Acknowledge Rejection in a Safe Space.
“There is power in safe spaces and sometimes rejection can result in us suppressing our feelings and denying that we’re in pain. It frees us and liberates us to communicate our feelings.”
- Strengthen Your Resilience to Rejection
“Once we identify that we don’t respond well to rejection, this is a great time to engage confidence boosting skills and develop our ‘armor’. Therapy is a great place to start this amazing process.”
- Keep Putting Yourself Out There.
“This destroys the narrative that you are ‘reduced’ or ‘less than what you are capable of’ following rejection. The rejection doesn’t define you nor your many opportunities. It’s totally okay to face the music again. Celebrate your wins over magnifying your losses.”
If you or someone you know has been rejected and you are not handling it in a healthy way, seek professional help. For JSU students, help can be found at the Latasha Norman Center, 601-979-0374.
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