William Kelly
Staff Writer
When analyzing my actions and personality, some people may see an optimistic, free-spirited, social young man with big dreams and the “good life”. In reality, I am a product of domestic violence: a young man who has been forever scarred and now hides behind a smile.
Domestic violence not only scars the victim, it also traumatizes the family members who witness the abuse both mentally and emotionally for the rest of their lives. It also affects their actions and responses towards many situations.
Growing up, even though my biological parents were separated, I was blessed to have them both active in my life. I lived with my mom, my two little sisters, and my step-dad, a man who brutally abused my mom throughout my childhood.
The abuse began when I was only in elementary school. I will never forget the first time I witnessed my mom being abused.
I was in my room watching television and I heard my mom and step-dad arguing as many couples do. Suddenly I started hearing hard bumps against the wall and grunting. I ran into the next room and froze in fear as I witnessed my mom being choked from behind struggling to scream for help. I screamed her name and screamed for him to stop but he continued to choke her.
My mom told me to call the cops and just as I was running to the nearest phone, my step-dad threatened to break my legs if I did anything. This abuse continued until I was in the eighth grade, when they finally separated.
These events molded me into a person that neither my family or myself recognized: a defensive child who was emotionally distressed and always angry for “no reason.” I was very quick to snap on family and friends as well as make deadly threats towards anyone who seemed to challenge my strength.
My mom always stressed to me that it wasn’t my fault, it wasn’t any of our fault, only his and his past. Several times we attempted to run away but somehow he would always find us or follow us to our destination.
According the United States Department of Health and Human Services, children in families experiencing domestic violence are more likely than other children to exhibit aggressive and antisocial behavior or to be depressed and anxious. Research also indicates that males exposed to domestic violence as children are more likely to engage in domestic violence as adults; similarly, females are more likely to be victims.
Having experienced this, it sickens me to hear so many females brag about how they love being handled aggressively by their boyfriends. It’s almost as if domestic violence has become a norm in relationships when actually it is not fine at all.
It is time to speak up and speak out against domestic violence.
For the mother who keeps quiet to save her family, speak up! For the child who isn’t old enough to know what to do, speak out! For the person in a relationship who is in denial about the abuse and believes love makes it okay, tell someone and get help!
For every victim, the time is now to speak up! It is never too late to end the abuse and stop the cycle.
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