No one should feel obligated to date within his or her race

“If my mom found out I had a black girlfriend, she would kill me.”

These were the words that emphatically rolled off the tongue of my former high school classmate who was secretly in an interracial relationship.

For months it was kept under wraps, no holding hands and no walking to class with the one he loved. It was one of those relationships that if you knew, you knew and if you did not know, you would have never guessed.

As he shared with me that brutal honesty, the words struck my soul.

 

I witnessed the fright on his face as he mumbled to me a truth that it seemed he did not share until that moment. It was a statement I definitely did not want to take heed to, but I just knew it could not be a lie

My former high school was established in a predominately white rural area, and it was the only school in the district that students attended if they lived nearby. For decades the school was majority white; however, it would soon be populated with more blacks than whites.

It was a drastically different high school environment compared to what my older sister could recall. During her time as a student, the population of black students were 30 percent, while in my high school days the demographics nearly tripled.

Interracial dating was common to see as I matriculated throughout high school. I witnessed the transformation of people embracing who they liked, and it was so beautiful to see.

Yes, I know it was high school at the moment, but I must admit my class had the tightest connection and strongest bond ever given our different cultural backgrounds.

I believed that this usual act I was experiencing more of each year derived from parents who embedded in their children that racism is dead and skin color does not merely define who a person is—unfortunately, that was not the case.

I realized these lessons were taught not by their parents but from the division that plagued the world. After several discussions on topics such as racism in America, I discovered that many decided not to continue to live in a country, a world nor a space that allowed division to overrule unity.

So, this brings me back to the comment that resonates in my mind to this day: “If my mom found out I had a black girlfriend, she would kill me.”

Scary, right?

It was scary that this was a reality. Scary that it was honesty. Scary that his parents would condemn dating outside of their race.

I always wanted to know why my classmate kept his relationship undercover. What would have happened if he openly showcased his blossoming relationship at the time? How would his parents really react?

My questions would probably never get answered directly but it makes me think: Why do we sit in silence afraid of what others may think? The validation that we try so hard to obtain from others will only cause us not to live in true happiness.

Martin Luther King Jr. said it best, “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about the things that matter.”