To love or to learn?: That is the question

Diamond Jenkins
Blue & White Flash / Associate Editor

College couples face some challenges unique to their situation in life. At a time when you are learning about yourself and figuring out what you want, is a relationship a good thing or a bad thing?

The greatest challenge facing college couples is that our lives are fluctuating.  Deciding what to major in and figuring out what we want to do in the future can put a strain on even the healthiest relationships.  From my experiences in college, one of the things that I have learned is that you have to think about yourself more than a relationship. This can be very hard to do, especially when you do not know what you want.

The idea of meeting your soul-mate at a bar or club or campus library may sound unlikely to most students. When heading to a party, a student does not usually give off the impression that they are looking for a serious lifelong relationship.  Instead, it is usually that he or she wants something casual, a “no-strings-attached” relationship. Why? Because you have to remember why you are enrolled at Jackson State University in the first place, to get an education, right? That has to remain your first priority.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, in 1999 the median marriage age was 22.8 for men and 20.3 for women. If we assume both parties were going to college, women would have been planning their weddings during their sophomore year, and men their senior year. In 2011, the median marriage age was 28.9 for men and 26.9 for women.  These stats show that Americans are delaying marriage for various reasons.  With the state of economics in America, my assumption is that they want more financial security before jumping the broom.

So what turned college years from the time to find ‘the one’ and settle down into the time for casual, no-strings-attached hook-ups that have become the norm for students today? And is it ever suitable to say “yes” while in college?

Andre’ Hardy, a senior biology major from Jackson, Miss., feels that the term relationship does not apply to college couples.

“I don’t know how you describe a relationship. If I am in a relationship, I say not officially. When you are in college, you are exclusive, but you are not really boyfriend and girlfriend,” said Hardy.

Hardy also identifies a full workload as a large part of the reason he is not interested in seeing anybody at JSU or looking for marriage as a college sophomore.

He said, “I don’t exactly have a list [of what I want to accomplish before marriage]. I’m pre-med and I’m totally focused on my career right now. I mean, with med school and residencies, it takes a long time to build credentials. If [love and marriage] happens along the way, that’s great; if not, that works too.”

Janiece Taylor, a junior mass communications major from Clinton, Miss., feels that long-term college relationships do not work out in the long-run.

“Even if I really loved someone here, I wouldn’t be with them,” said Taylor.

According to a study performed in 2009 by MTV and the Associated Press, 85 percent of students said they have felt stressed often or sometimes during the last three months. Seventy-seven percent of students felt stressed by schoolwork, 74 percent by grades, 67 percent by financial worries, and 53 percent by relationships.

Almost every JSU student can identify with these problems; students juggle extracurricular activities, classes, internships, schoolwork, and friendships on a daily basis. In a bleak job market, students have more reasons than ever to be stressed out. Adding a relationship to the mix; not so logical.

The views expressed in the commentary are those of the writer(s) and in no way represent the views of The Blue & White Flash.