My New Year’s Resolution is to get to know myself

Kenya Johnson
Staff Writer

Coming to college, I had this preconceived idea about what my experience would be like. I came to Jackson, Miss. from Arkansas in search of a fresh start in a new environment. I planned on making good grades, joining every organization under the sun, and forming bonds that would last a lifetime.

It only took one day filled with lectures for me to realize that I was in for a huge reality check. The workload seemed to come out of nowhere and all at once. I had never experienced such high demands or expectations before.

Instead of breaking out and forming new connections, I found myself folded into the corner on the 4th floor of H.T. Sampson Library driving myself crazy trying to remember all of the new information that was being presented to me.

School quickly went from a place where I found solace in learning to being a prison where I worked tiresomely to pass.

After a while, my initial goals became obscured by letter grades and tests, and I ended up losing myself in the process. By the time I realized it, I was on my way back to Arkansas for the Winter break. While I ended up earning an amazing GPA, I realized that it was all I had to show for my first semester of college.

This year, while I still plan on maintaining a great GPA, I also plan on experiencing another aspect of college which is self growth. All of my life, I allowed titles and what everyone else thought of me define who I was as person.

For the first time in almost eight years, I did not have a long list of organizations to tell me who I was anymore. I realized then that I honestly did not know who I really was. I had spent so much of my life being whatever the situation required me to be that when it was time for me to sit down and figure out what truly made me happy, it was almost impossible to do.

That was the lowest feeling I had ever experienced in my entire life. I realized then that it was time to make some major changes. I know this might sound really cliche, but my New Year’s resolution is to get to know Kenya.

I want to learn how to live a life where I can thrive without all of the titles and labels that held me down for majority of my life. I want to be able to do things without worrying about what others will think of me or who I might offend.

Going from being a big fish in a small pond to being thrown out in an ocean was definitely a scary process, but I feel like it has given me an opportunity to learn more about who I am, and what I can overcome.