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Sista Vanity: Tiger Takeover or Thigh High Boots Takeover?

Tiger Takeover or Thigh High Boots Takeover?

Now this is a story all about how my life got switched-turned upside down, and I’d like to take a moment, just sit right there. I’ll tell you how I became a student at a school takings L’s.

Yes the twelfth letter in the alphabet seems most fitting to describe post homecoming fever. The freshly mopped floors have been scuffed up with tears of cancelled concerts, the artificial green grass has wilted away with the dreams of students, and the sun has disappeared from negative publicity creating an unsaid university shame.

Luckily for my readers, this is not a pity column, nor a story about the issues, this is the Fashion Commandments and may I say Jackson State University is “Thee Out of Line”, out of pocket, out of order, however the phrase is dressed up, it will still not be considered a reality for rapper Future. Kind of like post homecoming fashion, no matter how many pieces were thrown together, the end result constantly stayed true to the Shanaynay character on a rerun episode of “Martin”, creating a disturbance in the clothing industry.

For the first time during my matriculation, I actually wanted the dress code enforced and hoped that the custodians would come pick up all the ratchet trash roaming the campus as a collective. Starting Day 1 of the turn up, the toga party/ rave, otherwise known as a function to wear regular clothes. Now, some people did get into the festive spirit and actually threw on their all white to feel “godly” but it appears that the majority of the student body couldn’t see themselves aggressively jumping in the air rapping Chief Keef’s popular song “faneto” in a tied up flat sheet.

Day 2 became filled with agony from the cancellation of the Homecoming concert to breaking news about the campus’ monetary issues. With all the stress in the air, clogging up personal sinuses instead a “pajama jam” took place. From what I saw: thongs, diapers and excruciatingly tight onesies, the AAC looked like a broke down episode of the “Teletubbies.” As for Day 3, I would tell you all about Street Jam, but honestly it was so dark, and so not entertaining that I stared at my Que Dawg chicken plate the entire time. When it comes to Day 4, let’s just say coronation had me screaming “GIVE ME SLAY OR GIVE ME DEATH. For those who attend Jackson State University, I think I speak for everyone fashionably inclined when I say I was deceased.

Please do not be misconstrued by my opinion, but if the shoe fits, go ahead and put both on. Speaking of shoes, “6 inch heels she walked on the plaza like nobody’s business,” in my Beyonce’ voice. Fast forwarding to the day that mattered most, the day the whole campus shut down and decided to walk it out in the same outfit, the day every woman found their hair brush again and borrowed their friend’s mascara. Last Friday, better known as the extended hotspot, aka known as every woman wearing heels higher than an actual woman of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Inc., I also witnessed many outfits ranked from panties to “coochie cutters” paired with thigh high boots.

This Homecoming was abominable, but I have to give props when due. Overall, I applaud 20 percent of the campus for looking decent, and to the other 80 percent, I pity everyone for their attempt to out dress Sista Vanity.

The views expressed in the column are those of the writer(s) and in no way represent the views of The Blue & White Flash.


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