Last updated on December 1, 2023
Photo provided by Spectrum at JSU
Ashley Flewellen
Staff Writer
What are gender pronouns? How do you know when to use the correct gender pronoun? These questions have consistently been a topic of discussion around the world.
And the answer is simple, just respectfully ask.
According to a University of Milwaukee Wisconsin LGBTQ+ Resource Center article,
Try asking: “What pronouns do you use?” or “Can you remind me what pronouns you use?” It can feel awkward at first, but it is not half as awkward as making a hurtful assumption. Also asking about when you can use those pronouns helps protect people from being outed; this can sound like “Are there any situations where you don’t want me to use these pronouns?”
At Jackson State University, in early September Spectrum held a panel discussion to alleviate some of the mystery around the use of proper gender pronouns.
Spectrum at JSU is a registered student organization (RSO) for students who identify in the LGBTQ+ community or who wish to support those who do.
The panelists consisted of two JSU alumni: Darius Nelson, a Coordinator at Mississippi in Action, William H. Kelly III, Communication Specialist for JSU University Communications, and guest Jai Vybez, a visual storyteller and local community organizer.
Each panelist shared their own experiences about how they came to choose their pronouns and why they did so. They also elaborated on the various types of pronouns with which people may identify and why it is critical for the community to recognize how to use pronouns correctly.
“My gender expression and gender identity align with each other, but I would also say there are a lot of times I would like to express more of the femininity in the workspace and more formal professional setting,” said Kelly. “I try to do it with little things like a little gloss on the lip or might be earrings or pulling my hair up and adding jewelry.”
Kelly added: “I try navigating my gender expression through my clothes while remembering my body is art and it is a vessel and my vessel and I decorate as I please.”
In addition, the panelists discussed their own obstacles in coming out to their families along with challenges living in the south while being queer.
They spoke with students on how to properly and respectfully ask someone for their pronoun by creating a scenario in the room using students. Each speaker talked about the differences between gender expression and gender identity, and they also addressed how they align with each other.
“A lot of what I had to do to cope was to find people who are like minded. Find people who want to hold me in a genuine space and use my name or use my proper pronoun,” said Nelson. “I accepted me for who I am thoroughly and this is what I had to do literally to survive.”
Nelson elaborated that it is often tiresome having to correct people who use the incorrect gender pronoun.
“I have come to a point where I don’t correct people and my pronouns for the most part. This is not what people should take from me, do it how you see fit. Being a person in the deep south, it is so tiring having to correct people and tell people,” Nelson said. “As well as constantly explaining to people and validating people or validating myself. People always make assumptions, but in reality, you don’t know who I am.”
Nelson added: “Ultimately, my pronouns are They/Them, you either get it or you don’t. I am not going to keep explaining it to you. I can be with people who affirm me.”
Students in attendance asked questions as the panelists discussed the different phobias or problems in the LGBTQ+ community and explained how they bring awareness on how broad the spectrum is for gender identity, sexual identity, and romantic identity.
Students seeking support were encouraged to consider joining Spectrum at JSU or off-campus organizations that include Mississippi in Action and Capital City Pride.
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