Taylor Bembery
Associate Editor
In college, many students think that they will find true love, and live happily ever after with that person. Unfortunately, some find themselves involved with someone who is violent or emotionally abusive and are unaware that these unhealthy relationships can be devastating to the self-esteem or even fatal.
According to domesticviolence.org, domestic violence and emotional abuse are behaviors used by one person in a relationship to control the other. Partners may be married or not married; heterosexual, gay, or lesbian; living together, separated or dating.
As a young woman in college, I have learned that you have to be very selective of the people you allow into your personal life, especially the people you date because they could have bad intentions. My biggest fear is to fall in love with someone who either turns violent or emotionally abusive after the relationship has become seasoned.
Many people do not know that domestic violence comes in many forms that are not always physical. Domestic violence also includes emotional abuse. This includes: name-calling or put-downs, keeping a partner from contacting family or friends, withholding money, stopping a partner from getting or keeping a job, actual or threatened physical harm, sexual assault, stalking, and intimidation.
According to a study conducted by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence in 2007, 21percent of college students report having experienced dating violence by a current partner; 32 percent experienced dating violence by a pervious partner; and over 13 percent of college women report they have been stalked. Of these, 42 percent were stalked by a boyfriend or ex-boyfriend. Those are frightening figures!
We often tell people caught-up in abusive relationships “don’t be stupid, or just leave!” However we should take into consideration that it might be the aggressor that won’t allow the victim to cut ties with them. Sometimes I feel that we can be very insensitive toward the victim in a domestic violence situations.
My mother always told me, “never let someone love you to death.” At the time, I didn’t know what she meant, but now I am aware of situations when the victim couldn’t or was afraid to leave. Or left, and was still victimized by the abuser.
Sometimes we think if we love a person enough, we can change them. Sometimes people don’t know how to let go. But we have to understand that if a person loves you, they won’t hurt you. Don’t let a partner’s misguided thoughts of love keep you in a situation that causes you physical or mental harm. Don’t love me to death! If you leave and the aggressor continues to harass you, such as stalking, blocked phone calls, and badgering via social network, let someone know what is going on. Tell your family, tell your friends, tell school officials and if the case warrants it, contact law enforcement officials. Don’t suffer in silence.
Anyone familiar with the Lastasha Norman case and countless others, know that keeping silent can lead to death. There is help out there for you. Speak up and speak out because you have rights and deserve it. Don’t get it twisted, love doesn’t hurt!
