Taylor Bembery
Associate Editor
The holidays are a time for fellowship among family and friends, but how do you cope when a close loved one has recently passed away? Holidays can deepen sorrow, loneliness, depression, guilt, and anxiety when in bereavement. According to the American Hospice Foundation, those emotions are completely normal during this time of the year.
High mortality rates during the holiday season have been an ongoing phenomenon for years and affects many families. Medical examiners refer to this phenomenon as the “Holiday Effect”. According to the Journal of the American Heart Association, researchers examined records for 53 million deaths from natural cause over a 26-year period (1973-2001), excluding suicides, homicides, and accidents. The researchers found that death rates from heart attacks and stroke as well as non-heart-related causes spiked during the holiday season and the percentage of holiday deaths grew over time.
The holidays magnify a sense of loss and mourning. Trust me, I know this feeling all too well. My father passed a week before Thanksgiving last year. Even though this may be a difficult time, get the best out of the holiday season without letting it get the best of you. Here are some ways to cope and comfort yourself:
1. Spend time or talk with close family members
Being around people you love may help console some of the grief from losing a loved one. If you can, try doing more things together such as watch a movie at home, prepare a holiday meal together, or even do a little shopping.
2. Create new traditions
Trying to continue traditions that your decease loved one created can become a burden to carry because you may focus on not “messing it up”. Instead of focusing on keeping those traditions, create new ones. Create new ways to celebrate the holidays with your family.
3. Write in a journal and read books (or channel your energy to a positive creative outlet)
If you find yourself not wanting to talk to friends about how you feel; write your thoughts down in a journal. Use the journal to reflect on what really goes through your head on the bad days. Also, reading books might also help grasp some type of understanding.
4. Remember the good times (Laugh)
Sometimes thinking about the absence of your loved one may make you cry. Crying is completely healthy during the grieving process, however laughing is healthier. According to helpguide.org, laughter relaxes the whole body. A good, hearty laugh relieves physical tension and stress, leaving your muscles relaxed for up to 45 minutes after. Try to remember a time when your deceased loved one told you a funny joke, or something they did that you may have found funny. Memories do last forever, and those memories may put you in a better mood.
5. Seek professional help (medical or faith based)
Dealing with a death in the family may not be easy for an individual to conquer, that’s why there are people that specialize particularly in Grief Counseling. Sometimes in the African-American there is a stigma of seeking psychological help but facing your problems head on is the best medicine. Never turn your problems over to drugs or alcohol being that they are depressants and can worsen the issues.
F.Y.I: Jackson State University has counselors that specialize in grief counseling located in the Latasha Norman Center, which is located on the 2nd floor of the Student Center. For more information about their services please call 601-979-0374
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